A beautiful thing happened today. A community remembered those children loss to miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. As an obstetrician, I know that these losses are all to frequent. As a mother, I am heart broken by the number of families affected.
Miscarriages are not talked about enough. With the growing trend of only focusing on the positive, we leave women and their families without appropriate support. Miscarriages are common, sporadic and most often without cause. They are associated with a wide range of emotions, and women should be supported no matter how they respond. Grief should be supported. Once a women knows she is pregnant, she develops hopes and dreams for the little being growing in her uterus. When a pregnancy loss occurs, it is a loss not only of the little spirit, but also of all of the hopes and dreams that are developing.
I once read a study that suggested as many as 10% of women suffer an episode of clinical depression within a year of a miscarriage. Other women are able to move on more easily. There is no proper response, but definitely, women and their families should be encouraged to talk about their loss and remember their pregnancy how it works best for their families.
I counsel my patients that miscarriage is like a “secret world”. Once you experience a miscarriage, you may be surprised by the number of people in your life or community that have had a miscarriage as well. However, we need to talk about pregnancy loss more often, not because re want to be reminded of the loss, but because we want to remember these little spirits.